How I finally shackled my APPetite
I've always had big aspirations: writing and publishing consistently, positively impacting millions of people, building a billion-dollar company, surfing waves before they break, walking my kids to daycare every day, and helping fellow entrepreneurs thrive.
However, time has played a mischievous game, leaving me torn between these ambitions, quality family time, and self-care. It's like juggling flaming torches on a tightrope! Despite the chaos, I've remained committed to the thrilling roller coaster of building startups.
But at the start of this year, my body demanded attention. After eight relentless years on the Megacool/Medal journey and welcoming two adorable mini-me's into the world, exhaustion took its toll. My batteries had been in Low Power Mode for too long and desperately needed to recharge.
As I’m working towards recovering from burnout and regaining my energy, I'm determined to establish habits that let me be present with my family, prioritize my health, and pursue a fulfilling career, without choosing just one.
I may shoot for the stars and end up on the moon, but hey, at least I'll be further from Earth's demands and closer to my own inner balance.
I need to manage my time and attention.
I found inspiration from David Perell's Annual Review: We must decide what to stop doing/leaving behind to make space for new things. Mark Manson's journaling prompt also struck a chord: "What are you spending your time on that doesn't matter, and why? How can you stop?"
The answer was crystal clear—I needed to break free from the clutches of my phone! However, how to do it was not as clear.
Here I am on my phone. It’s probably been more than 30 min just browsing all my social media accounts while I’m on the toilet. Disgusting! Why do I do that? I wish I had an app that would act like “Chrome Nanny” on my phone.. — A journal entry from 2015
Over the years, I've had a strained relationship with my phone–particularly with time spent on social media. I wasted countless hours doom scrolling through random videos, images, and posts for what felt like "just five more minutes," only to realize hours had gone by. It became a morning ritual and a late-night addiction. I even checked it during dinners with friends, afraid of missing urgent messages. Meanwhile, I watched other kids' milestones on my screen while overlooking the precious moments of my children right beside me!
While social media keeps me connected to loved ones in Norway, the truth is, I spend more time mindlessly scrolling through feeds watching parents wrestling diapers on their babies than indeed engaging with friends' content and having two-way conversations!
I've flirted with tapping the "Remove App" a few times, to the point where it is starting to feel like an on-and-off relationship with multiple rounds of breakups. Despite this, a complete breakup and deletion of the apps isn't a long-term solution for me. By completely removing social media, I miss snaps from the weddings I can't attend in person, Instagram posts welcoming new raisin-looking babies into the world, and jealously hearting photos of sun-kissed tans from Bali poolside resorts.
Turns out, it was I who needed to change.
Through trial and error in recent months, I've discovered a sustainable approach to using my phone and curbing excessive screen time:
1. Set a 15 min daily App Limit
I created a 15-min App Limit timer combined for all my time-sink apps, in my case: Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook. This magical iOS feature allowed me to restrict the time I spend scrolling mindlessly. Fifteen minutes is just enough time to catch up on essential updates without falling into the abyss of wasted hours. Here's how I’ve set up my App Limit on iOS.
When I've used my allowance and reached the App Limit, I use the cue to ask myself: Do I absolutely need to "consume" anything now? If yes, I open the Kindle app to read a book or Readwise Reader to catch up on newsletters or articles.
But what if social media is part of my work?
Setting a timer before diving into the unknown is helpful to prevent getting lost in the algorithmic abyss. When using social media for browsing and learning, the critical distinction is to be mindful and engaged with what you observe, take notes, save inspirational content, and actively process information. By setting time limits using a timer or App Limit, you can better prepare yourself for swimming in the sea of hungry attention-seeking influencers. These guardrails help curb impulsive behaviors and allow for more intentional and focused engagement.
2. Default to leaving the phone out of sight and out of mind
The mere presence of my phone, even when I wasn't using it, was a constant temptation. Whenever I am in the company of others/my family or engaged in an activity requiring my full attention, I leave my phone in the charger and out of sight. At least not within arm's reach! It's too easy to get pulled back in just because I have a spare moment to fill with an email or two.
By physically separating myself from my digital companion, I created space to fully immerse myself in the present moment. My phone is also no longer accompanying me to bed. Instead, it sleeps soundly on the kitchen counter.
If something is truly urgent, my watch will tell me, and I can retrieve my phone from its hiding place. Those I work with know when I'm available and that they have to call me to escalate something outside of those hours.
3. The Weekly Screen Time report. Your moment of truth!
Every Sunday, at 09:13, the suspense builds for my moment of truth. That's when my phone lights up with the weekly Screen Time report, ready to spill the beans on my app usage. What I look for is whether social media appears on my top 5 apps list or not. I also want apps like Kindle and Readwise Reader to be my #1 and #2 as I change my consumption habit to something that adds more value. Surprisingly, since adopting this new approach, I often don't even reach my app limit anymore. It's a testament to the progress I've made in the past few months.
These changes have reduced my phone dependency and freed up time for productive activities like writing these essays. I'm more present. Where I previously would feel my eyes flicker back and forth between my phone screens, endless Slack messages, or party snaps from friends back in Norway, I'm now there with friends to follow their story about the latest work blow-up. I'm now there with my kids to look them in their eyes. I see their curiosity. I follow their gaze to the flowers they want to pick. I also noticed the green and disgusting mucus they smeared on my shoulder. Previously I wouldn't have seen it until the next Zoom call.
I have shifted my social media consumption time to reading books, articles, and newsletters. Moreover, I have improved my sleep routine by avoiding late-night doom-scrolling on the couch or in bed.
To me, the time suck has been social media. To you, it might be work emails and news. Whatever it is, if you're also seeking to gain more focus and hours in your day by curbing your digital companionship, I recommend trying the steps outlined above.
This post is one of many where I'll explore habits that allow me to balance ambition, family, and health as an entrepreneur.
A huge thank you to Josh Knox, , and
for reading drafts of this and helping me shape it.
Illuminating to hear you run through your process at navigating such a universal problem. Now all I need to do is actually apply these things...